As I am scrolling through my "On This Day" posts on Facebook, which shows all your posts from that day for years prior, I ran across a few from the year of my divorce, saying how grateful I was for my friends and their support:
"So humbling to hear what your friends really think about you. Thanks ___&___ for a great dinner and positive energy!"
"I am fortunate to have such h a great network of friends. Thanks ___, ___, and ___ for a great day yesterday."
It was a hard year for me, but I had an amazing network of friends to support me.
Two weeks later my Twin Flame would find me.
He was my very best friend from 25 years ago, and we had lost contact for 19 years.
I had always wondered what happened to him, how he was and often tried to find him to no avail, it was a miracle that he found me after all these years. I was so overjoyed that he found me again I thought my heart would burst.
As we were catching up I told him about my impending divorce, and made the comment
-how grateful I was to have an amazing network of friends supporting me through this difficult time.-
A few months later my divorce was final, I was throwing out things and found an old letter from him from so long ago. As I read the letter it became clear he had been in love with me.
I was dumbfounded.
How did I not see this? Was this why he found me? Was this why I always looked for him, and thought of him?
Then I realized I had not heard from him since we reconnected. I was so caught up in my divorce and moving I had not realized it.
I messaged him that I found the letter, and he wanted me to read it to him. As we reconnected again, I asked where he had been the past few months, why had he disappeared?
He said when I told him I had a great network of friends to support me
-he thought I meant I did not need him in my life.-
Why would he think that??? How could he have gotten that from what I said, especially in the context I was saying it?
I felt nothing could have been further from the truth, I very much wanted him in my life, I missed by Best Friend and did not want to lose him again.
This is a very important part of the twin Flame journey all need to pay very close attention to:
His reaction to what I said had absolutely NOTHING to do with me or what I said or did:
is reaction was based on his past, his childhood and fears of rejection from so long ago.
Let me repeat:
His reaction had nothing to do with me or what I said. His reactions had had everything to do with his own past, fears, hurts, trauma and childhood.
As we progressed through our Journey we triggered the most profound and hidden fears within each other. I found my self overreacting to things he said and wondering why, and especially why with Him when this had never been an issue before with us? He was reacting to things the exact same way I did as well, another interesting revelation.
We had never had a disagreement before but everything was causing extreme reactions in the both of us. We were reacting to things that had nothing to do with the TRUTH of our relationship. It was scary as this was the ONE person I never wanted to cause any pain. I was terrified of hurting him. I was terrified of being hurt myself. I was just plain terrified.
What if I lost him AGAIN after all these years?
He was so loving and supportive, which I had never experienced in a relationship except with him. It was confusing that I was so afraid of the one and only man I had ever truly trusted 100%.
This sent us on the most profound discovery of our lives:
One of self-love, and the realization that our reactions truly had nothing to do with each other, but with all the relationships of our past that needed to be healed.
We were triggered to heal the parts of us containing all the hurts and fears of the past that held us back from our future:
Feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, all have to be healed before we can be together.
So often as I work with other Twin Flames the questions comes up:
"Why does my Twin Flame Run From me? Why does m y Twin Flame Reject me? Why does my Twin Flame abandon me?"
The answer truly is so we can learn to stop running from ourselves, rejecting ourselves, and abandoning ourselves.
Looking back another truth has come forward...
He was right, I did not NEED him in my life...I still do not NEED him in my life, but I do very much WANT him in my life.
Here it is years later and I am finally on the path of Independence I always wanted to be on-
Finding happiness within myself and my life purpose, becoming whole, and doing what I was put on this to do.
This is what your Twin Flame is here for:
To lift you up out of your Co-dependence and fears, and to remind you of the strong independent and whole person you truly are.
Please understand: your Twin Flames reactions are not about you.
Their reactions are about themselves and what they need to heal within. So are yours!
So when you or your Twin Flame is reacting, you are being given the gift of time and silence to heal,. So take advantage of the opportunity, get to work, start healing so you can stop reacting, and come into Full Union.
Sometimes a fire is started you simply can’t put out
It happens when you find the one you cannot live without.
Nothing else will matter, no one will ever do
The only one you’ll ever want is the one made just for you.
The huger is insatiable, the feelings so intense
You will know they are the one for you, no sitting on the fence.
Passion like you have never known, your soul will be on fire
For the one who stokes the blaze in you and fills you with intense desire
This fire it will consume you, it comes to heal your soul
It burns away all of your pain, it comes to make you whole.
And when this fire is finished, from ashes you will rise.
You will be a whole new you, feeling so much more alive.
You will know you are unstoppable, nothing can hold you back.
This fire that has come to claim you has cleared out all your lack.
Never more will you be alone, you’ll face all of your fears
You finally will have all the love you need from the one you hold so dear.
You will blaze a trail together, like no one has ever seen.
You’ll show just what can happen when you choose to follow your dreams.
You may not be perfect, You don’t have to be
All that really matters is you are perfect for me
Everything I thought possible and all I thought true
All things I Imagined I found inside of you.
My best friend, my lover, my confidante and more
My mirror, my conscience, my conspirator.
All that I dreamed of and all that I need
Is all that you are, I am fortunate indeed.
When I got divorced I was told to find someone for their money instead of love, so I can be comfortable and happy.
I said NO.
I want it ALL or NOTHING.
I want the best friend, romance, passion, love, mind-blowing sex, someone who puts me first, loves as I do, who understands me and appreciates me for who I am, who will not take advantage of me, and will actually protect my heart.
Because I DESERVE it.
It is my Destiny.
I will not settle again.
I choose Love.
When you love you can forgive
When you forgive you heal yourself
Healing yourself opens your heart
Your heart opens your gifts
Your shared gifts exude Unconditional love
Unconditional love heals yourself and others.
You can have the relationship you have always dreamed of, but sometimes God tests you to see how bad you want it.
It is the same with anything else in life; you must fight for what you believe in, or remain in the purgatory of mediocrity.
Do you want Heaven or Hell?
It is your choice.
Nothing worth having is easy, or free.
If you are not just a Lightworker but a Twin Flame as well, this has been a trying time indeed.
The energies lately have been very challenging as many have noted.
The universe is pushing us hard to clear out the last remaining particles of what no longer serves us and to get us on mission.
I had to learn to balance myself and maintain that balance during stressful times, which would in turn help my Twin Flame keep his balance when he was going through things. It is similar to being on a high-wire, with someone beside you holding your hand so you do not fall off.
The universe has sent things to work on to help us heal and move towards Full Union, and as we went through them, things got easier to balance out, and we moved through them easier and quicker.
The universe has been turning up the heat and piling things on; for new beginnings and anything remaining from last year must go.
My TF and I are working on the same exact things at the exact same time now, so it is twice as hard. We can feel each other, as well as our own issues, and now the issues are much deeper, the ones we have been missing or avoiding the most. These hidden issues are the ones most deeply tied to self love, unconditional love and most of all; forgiveness and self worth.
Before we had to keep ourselves in balance while one or the other was going though things. Now we have to stay in balance within ourselves as well as together, healing our deepest fears and issues at the exact same time. Imagine both are on the high-wire now, walking toward each other, trying to maintain a balance as we go. Add to that all the distractions around us trying to make us lose our balance. These are the last steps toward Full Union.
The key is to remain focused on the now, our healing, and keeping our balance. Too much focus on the past, the future or what is simply a distraction and we may fall off.
We are almost at the middle point: full balance, and Full Union.
And much like that high-wire, slow and steady with absolute trust will get us there.
I am going to let you guys in on a SECRET that may help you in your Twin Flame Journey.
24 years ago my Twin Flame said something to me that I CHOSE to withdraw from.
We were BFF's and told each other everything, but I did not want to hear it...
so I RAN.
Not from him mind you, but from MYSELF.
It was simple constructive criticism, however what he said hurt my feelings and instead of dealing with it; I simply walked away.
I gave away my power.
I was not in charge of me or my feelings.
Instead of ACTING and facing what he said, and taking advantage of a GROWTH OPPORTUNITY,
I REACTED and abdicated my throne of power.
Why am I telling you this?
Because so many of YOU are in fact the RUNNER in your Twin Flame Journey and do not even realize it.
By expecting others to tiptoe around your very precious feelings, you are in fact inhibiting your own growth as a soul, thereby sabotaging your Twin Flame partnership.
Let me repeat that:
You are in fact inhibiting your own growth as a soul, thereby sabotaging your Twin Flame partnership!
We are here to grow, we are not here to stagnate and if you are trying to CONTROL what you HEAR from others including your Twin Flame, you are simply blocking your own growth as a soul and as a Twin Flame.
When you are not growing as a soul, you cannot move forward.
When you cannot move forward, your Union suffers.
Understand that we are Ambassadors of Unconditional Love, and part of that love begins with ourselves.
Part of this soul growth is learning to not blame others for our feelings and triggers.
Why? Because our reactions are our responsibility.
As much as everyone is trying to make their reactions someone else's job now days:
our Reactions to things is the one and only thing we have control over.
So why give away your power and ALLOW someone else control over you?
Realize that this is an active choice you are making.
Is that what you want; For someone else to control how you feel?
Do you want to live a life where others to have control over you and how you react?
Or are YOU in charge of YOU?
Understand that you will be triggered by others including your Twin Flame until you are not triggered anymore. This is to force you to face yourself, your pain, and heal your past so you BOTH can move forward...
You cannot control what others say or do, you can only control how you choose to react!
Stop giving away your power.
Stop Blocking your Union.
You are not a fragile being; you are a powerhouse of love and light, start acting like it.
This is what your "Twin Flame Runner" is waiting for.
This is why we are here
Take back the reins of your own life and LEAD the healing of your Twin Flame Journey.
Take back control of your life and lead your Twin Flame back to YOU, by doing the work.
Heal yourself, heal your Union.
What is the difference between your Karmic Partner and your Twin Flame?
The Karmic kills your self esteem,
like the death of a thousand cuts...
Your Twin Flame makes you face how you got those cuts,
and helps you heal them.
People use the label "narcissist" far too freely to describe who they think is their "Twin Flame" This "narcissist" is either selfish or in truth not giving the complainer what they want when they want it -which would make the complainer the the selfish one or Narcissist... see how this works?
Let me explain.
Your Narcissist Soul Mate is actually a Karmic Partner with two very important lessons for you:
Recognition and Discernment.
They prepare you for your Twin Flame in this way!
Most Karmic Partners happen to be Narcissists for a reason, to teach you to love yourself enough to walk away from what does not serve you. They teach you what you do not want. They teach you to put yourself and your mental, emotional and physical health FIRST. which is why they become abusive in some way shape or form:
To wake you up. They make you start to question why you put up with this behavior and set you up to never let this happen again.
If our partner is abusive we need to be self aware enough to call a spade a spade and walk away as this is not a healthy relationship.
What most describe in the groups is not a Narcissist, but actually someone simply being selfish, or the runner needing space and time to heal themselves.
So if you now realize your Twin Flame is not an abusive Narcissist, and you are complaining that they are not doing what you expect them to do(uh oh, do you have expectations?), what then?
Lets take a look in this mirror of love, shall we?
What most of the complainers and advocates of accepting poor and often abusive behavior often are truly saying is that the complainer is actually the problem.
Here is why:
You need to respect your partners boundaries and give them the space they need to heal themselves. It is important to realize that both partners often need time and space to heal on their own. When one goes silent both are triggered to heal things from their childhood and past.
So now the question becomes; why can you not give them the space and time they need to heal?
Are you needy, codependent, not letting go of or healing your control issues abandonment issues and rejection...?
Why are you not healing that within yourself?
Constant complaining about others is avoiding the vital self-work required to improve and grow as a person and move forward in life. Don't you want to grow and be the best person you can possibly be, not just for them; but for yourself?
You need to be 100% whole and non-codependent for Union with your Twin Flame.
Non-codependent means you do not NEED anyone to make you happy and whole because you already ARE happy and whole with yourself.
When you are happy and non codependent, independent and self sufficient, you will not constantly look for the flaws of others to make yourself feel better.
You also will not look for love, accepting mere crumbs of love, you will want the whole cake and will not accept less than you deserve. You will BE love and therefore simply attract it to you like a moth to a flame.
Love and Focus on yourself, stop complaining (you actually bring more of what you complain about but that is a whole other subject in itself).
Walk away from what no longer serves you, no matter who you think that person is.
Heal your expectations that others jump when you need them to or what you think your partnership should look like (you have templates there that need to be broken - yep another subject.)
Lose the need to control the outcome of your relationship; the how and when.
When your focus becomes improving you, instead of what the other is doing wrong, all the relationships in your life will change!
So you want a true partnership different than all the rest?
To have that partnership, you must BE that partner first...
Do not focus on the labels, and what the other does or does not do.
So be love. Choose love, Focus on love.
This Spiritual Journey has been an amazing one back to myself, becoming whole and realizing who I was meant to be. This Blog will be about Reiki, Spirituality, Love, Twin Flames, becoming healthy balanced and whole and all that I have learned along the way. Channeled messages, spontaneous poems, scribbles and memes will be mixed in.