As I am scrolling through my "On This Day" posts on Facebook, which shows all your posts from that day for years prior, I ran across a few from the year of my divorce, saying how grateful I was for my friends and their support:
"So humbling to hear what your friends really think about you. Thanks ___&___ for a great dinner and positive energy!"
"I am fortunate to have such h a great network of friends. Thanks ___, ___, and ___ for a great day yesterday."
It was a hard year for me, but I had an amazing network of friends to support me.
Two weeks later my Twin Flame would find me.
He was my very best friend from 25 years ago, and we had lost contact for 19 years.
I had always wondered what happened to him, how he was and often tried to find him to no avail, it was a miracle that he found me after all these years. I was so overjoyed that he found me again I thought my heart would burst.
As we were catching up I told him about my impending divorce, and made the comment
-how grateful I was to have an amazing network of friends supporting me through this difficult time.-
A few months later my divorce was final, I was throwing out things and found an old letter from him from so long ago. As I read the letter it became clear he had been in love with me.
I was dumbfounded.
How did I not see this? Was this why he found me? Was this why I always looked for him, and thought of him?
Then I realized I had not heard from him since we reconnected. I was so caught up in my divorce and moving I had not realized it.
I messaged him that I found the letter, and he wanted me to read it to him. As we reconnected again, I asked where he had been the past few months, why had he disappeared?
He said when I told him I had a great network of friends to support me
-he thought I meant I did not need him in my life.-
Why would he think that??? How could he have gotten that from what I said, especially in the context I was saying it?
I felt nothing could have been further from the truth, I very much wanted him in my life, I missed by Best Friend and did not want to lose him again.
This is a very important part of the twin Flame journey all need to pay very close attention to:
His reaction to what I said had absolutely NOTHING to do with me or what I said or did:
is reaction was based on his past, his childhood and fears of rejection from so long ago.
Let me repeat:
His reaction had nothing to do with me or what I said. His reactions had had everything to do with his own past, fears, hurts, trauma and childhood.
As we progressed through our Journey we triggered the most profound and hidden fears within each other. I found my self overreacting to things he said and wondering why, and especially why with Him when this had never been an issue before with us? He was reacting to things the exact same way I did as well, another interesting revelation.
We had never had a disagreement before but everything was causing extreme reactions in the both of us. We were reacting to things that had nothing to do with the TRUTH of our relationship. It was scary as this was the ONE person I never wanted to cause any pain. I was terrified of hurting him. I was terrified of being hurt myself. I was just plain terrified.
What if I lost him AGAIN after all these years?
He was so loving and supportive, which I had never experienced in a relationship except with him. It was confusing that I was so afraid of the one and only man I had ever truly trusted 100%.
This sent us on the most profound discovery of our lives:
One of self-love, and the realization that our reactions truly had nothing to do with each other, but with all the relationships of our past that needed to be healed.
We were triggered to heal the parts of us containing all the hurts and fears of the past that held us back from our future:
Feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, all have to be healed before we can be together.
So often as I work with other Twin Flames the questions comes up:
"Why does my Twin Flame Run From me? Why does m y Twin Flame Reject me? Why does my Twin Flame abandon me?"
The answer truly is so we can learn to stop running from ourselves, rejecting ourselves, and abandoning ourselves.
Looking back another truth has come forward...
He was right, I did not NEED him in my life...I still do not NEED him in my life, but I do very much WANT him in my life.
Here it is years later and I am finally on the path of Independence I always wanted to be on-
Finding happiness within myself and my life purpose, becoming whole, and doing what I was put on this to do.
This is what your Twin Flame is here for:
To lift you up out of your Co-dependence and fears, and to remind you of the strong independent and whole person you truly are.
Please understand: your Twin Flames reactions are not about you.
Their reactions are about themselves and what they need to heal within. So are yours!
So when you or your Twin Flame is reacting, you are being given the gift of time and silence to heal,. So take advantage of the opportunity, get to work, start healing so you can stop reacting, and come into Full Union.
This Spiritual Journey has been an amazing one back to myself, becoming whole and realizing who I was meant to be. This Blog will be about Reiki, Spirituality, Love, Twin Flames, becoming healthy balanced and whole and all that I have learned along the way. Channeled messages, spontaneous poems, scribbles and memes will be mixed in.