Twin Flames: No Right Turns, Part 1
When My Twin Flame found me again, we had been separated for 25 years, and not been in contact for 19 years...We had always looked for each other, but for some reason could not find each other. This is what happened when he finally found me...
We met when I worked in a men’s store while I was in college, he was in the Army. As soon as we saw each other, we stopped and stared at each other for a few minutes before I started helping him. My Coworkers later asked what that was about. I had no idea, but it felt like we knew each other, and he was adorable and funny, so we became been best friends and inseparable. My friends and coworkers always questioned me about him. We would go dancing all night long coming home soaking wet, having won dirty dance contests, slow dancing, hanging out and doing everything and nothing together, but he never once tried to kiss me, and had ample opportunity. I would lament about my boyfriends, we would discuss life and things, he was a perfect gentleman. We would call his mother and talk to her often, she had us take a personality test for some reason and we came out almost exactly alike. She said she had never seen this before and we laughed, it was “because we are best friends!” So of course we were alike!
He eventually moved away after getting out of the Army, and we wrote and called each other. I missed him immensely but thought nothing of it. At one point in our friendship I agreed to be “best man” for his wedding, even though I was devastated he was getting married, which at that time I didn’t completely understand. I at one point wished he was a girl so he could be my maid of honor when I got married and hoped we would go to each other's weddings. After reading one if his letters I all the sudden felt completely unworthy of him. He seemed so much more spiritual than I, so amazingly sweet and awesome, he was so far away, and I was a Social Butterfly who didn't go to church and drank too much, so I started to write back less often.
We eventually lost touch, but I always wondered how and where he was and over the years would try to locate him several times.
Fast forward to 3 years ago. I was going through a very painful divorce which I would later learn was a Karmic Partnership. I was looking for answers and trying to fix myself with Massages, Hypnotism, Spider Vein Removal, Reiki, you name it, I was trying it!
I even met someone while going through my divorce and we seemed to be designed to heal each other. But as he was also going through a divorce from an abusive person, we eventually drifted apart. He was what you would term a Catalyst, he was amazing and a 180 degree opposite of my ex, but not quite a 100% match, but now I was utterly on my own.
One day I open up Facebook and there is a message from my long lost friend from 25 years prior! He asked if I remembered him (REALLY???) hopes he was somewhat memorable and states I was the one who got away (OMG ?!what!?) As we catch up he divulges that he had loved me, but was afraid I would reject him, and he preferred to have me as a friend than nothing at all, so never told me about it. Add to that he had no job when he got out of the Army and no where to stay. I informed him I had loved him as well. I was so overjoyed to hear from him and shocked that my former BFF was saying I was the one that got away. We both told each other that we had looked for each other for years to no avail.
He was currently married, alluded not happily, and I told him about my impending divorce, that I was a complete mess and he said he wanted to be there for me and help me heal, but then he disappeared.…
My divorce was final a few months later. I moved out and was purging things to downsize, and ran across an old letter from my BFF. The letter said he was taking a break from dating, because he compared everyone to me for some reason…asked when I was going to come and see him…and as I read it, it dawned on me, he HAD been in love with me. How had I missed that? Is this why he found me again? So I messaged him that I found the letter and he asked if he could call and would I read it to him. He asked if I remembered his voice (odd question??) to which I responded “how do you forget someone’s voice? Of course I do!"
When he called and I heard his voice, I felt really weird. My Heart reacted and my head started feeling fuzzy, but I brushed it off. We both exclaimed “OMG I LOVE your voice!“ to each other, then I read him the letter. He was amazed I still had it after all these years.
He then said he had a story to tell me, so we planned a call for the next day so he could tell it to me, he said it was long and would take a while.
When he called I felt weird again. My heart and head felt funny, so odd. I poured myself a glass of wine and settled into bed as he told me his story. He reminded me of the engagement I promised to be his best man for, told me why they never married. We discussed other relationships each had over the years since and his engagement to his first wife.
He then told me that prior to her and for the subsequent years he had dreams every night of a woman and himself. Every single night in these dreams he and this woman did the mundane things of life; laundry, making love, walking, sitting on a porch, sharing dinner. He never saw this woman’s face, but every night the dreams would return and he started feeling he was in a relationship with this woman to the point if he dated anyone he felt as if he was cheating on the woman in his dreams. He knew everything about her: her heart, her soul, everything, except for her face. He never told anyone about the dreams, and started thinking he might be crazy.
One day he is working in the bar of a hotel and a couple comes in. They were very loving and affectionate with each other. So much so, that over the course of the next 3 days his curiosity was piqued. They were always touching each other, feeding each other, looking at each other with a love he had never witnessed before. On the 3rd day they announce they will be leaving, and he asks if he can buy them lunch as he had enjoyed serving them and had some questions for them, as he was newly engaged and had always wanted a love like they had.
At this point the woman looks at her husband “I TOLD you it was him!” The husband rolls his eyes “yes, I see, you were right” and chuckles. As he looks at them quizzically, she states “we have been looking for you.” Now he is really curious. Who were they, and why were they looking for him? She then asks “are you still having the dreams?” He was floored. How did she know about that? He had never told a soul! She then informs him she had been having dreams about him having the dreams and they set out to find him.
She states he knows person in the dream, and he says no, he had never seen the woman’s face. She reiterates, “you have met this person already.” At this point an image flashes before his eyes but he brushes it away. He and the couple become friends, and over the years, they discuss how the couple’s relationship came about, and they discuss his future without too much detail, but that he will make many mistakes and have big lessons to learn.
They also make him promise that when he sees the face of the woman in his dreams, he has to tell her about the dreams.
He then gets married, divorced and married again, and through it all the dreams continue.
Now as an aside: the whole time he is telling this story, my BFF who is never at a loss for words is having a hard time; stuttering and stumbling as he tells me this story. Why he was having such a hard time, telling me this story? I could tell he was nervous, it was so not like him at all!
He continues: A few years ago the couple died within 6 months of each other. He said they affected many people’s lives and were well loved. They were mentors to a great many people. I start to get chills. He said so many people went to their funeral it was amazing.
In the fall of 2013 he has a dream. He is on a beach alone. The couple who had befriended and him and died appear out of nowhere and say “it is time, come with us.” He asks where they are going and follows them. They stop and he can see the woman he had been dreaming of all those years at the end of some breakers with her back to them. He recognizes her instantly. He turns around to the couple but they had disappeared.
He starts calling to the woman, but she cannot hear him; the waves are too loud. So he walks out on the breakers trying to get her attention. She still doesn’t hear him. Finally he gets to within 20 feet of her she hears him and as she turns around says “it is about time!”
At this point I had begun crying, I already knew what he was about to say.
iIs voice was full of emotion and he says:
“Terri, it was you at the end of the breakers.
YOU are the woman I had dreamed about over half my life!”
I was dumbfounded.
It was the most amazing and beautiful story I had ever heard, it was coming from the only man I had ever truly trusted and felt safe with: my best friend from so long ago...
And this is where our story begins...
Advice from a Twin Flame Runner
Many are surprised to hear I was the Runner in my TF relationship, as I have grown and mostly moved beyond that aspect in my Twin Flame Journey.
When my TF found me again after 19 years of searching for each other after losing touch, he made it clear he wanted to take our relationship beyond the BFF's we were before to the next level. Fresh out of a divorce from a Karmic Partner as well as a Catalyst relationship, I was not ready to hear what he had to say.
I was confused, and terrified of all the feelings swirling around in my head. My Ego was in Full retreat mode. I had proclaimed to my friends and him that I wanted 2 years to "fix myself" to "get back to me" and here was the one and only person I ever trusted in my life showing up out of the blue proclaiming he loved me unconditionally including my flaws ("who SAYS that, anyway???") and wanted to help me heal, reminding me who I was, that there was nothing wrong with me and that we were destined and designed for each other.
I cried the whole time he spoke. In fact I cried almost every time we spoke. Actually, he did most of the talking (a Gemini, go figure) and is the one person I know more talkative than myself. No one had ever said such lovely things to me, and all my emotions and fears from the past came rushing back up to the surface battling for attention.
How could he say these things when he had not seen me in 25 years and we had not communicated in 19 years? How was that even possible or realistic? What if he changed his mind after we saw each other? What if I rejected him and hurt him, as I had a tendency to do when seeing any man from my past after a few years? He was the last person I wanted to hurt-much less lose AGAIN. How can we have these feelings when we had not seen each other for years? It made no logical sense to me!
He was persistent, pushy even. In truth he pursued me as I had always dreamed a man would, but the timing? UGH! I literally told him to "back off! I am not ready for this shit!" To which he responded "I will back off but I WILL NOT back away!"
I was dumbfounded.
Again; who says this stuff??? This man was serious!
He finally stepped back, realizing I needed time to process all this, as well as to rebuild our relationship which had been untouched for 19 years.
He switched from pushy, to lovingly patient and vulnerable.
He figuratively cut his heart out of his chest and handed it over to me, saying he loved me and did not need for me to say it back and in fact did not need for me to reciprocate it either, that he had loved me over half his life and would love me no matter what.
I was completely shocked.
Once again: Who does this???? Who says things like that???
Twin Flames say and do these things.
Why? Twin Flames are Unconditional Love.
TRUE LOVE has no boundaries, no conditions, no restraints and no need to be returned, no need to control and no expectations.
So for those who are chasing and trying to force that connection to the one you think is your Twin Flame I have some advice from a Twin Flame Runner:
Let the other heal, let them breathe, let them figure it out, and build a foundation of trust, patience and UNCONDITIONAL love. It is in this way you prove to them you will always be there and that this is the Enduring Divine Partnership that you know it is.
If it is meant to be, it will happen... in Divine timing of course.
After all, forever is a very very long time....
Trust the Universe, Trust your heart, and Most of all: trust in that Divine Partnership of forever.
Detachment is vital to breaking the paradigm of abuse that holds you back in relationships.
A big part of learning to be detached in your relationships includes looking at your past and childhood in a detached way. It is through stepping back as you would a painting and choosing a different perspective, that you are able to see the bigger picture.
This bigger picture contains family templates such as abuse, alcoholism, codependency, and control, to name a few, and it is vitally important to take a step back and realize our parents acted in the way they were "taught" by their parents.
If you are objective and honest with yourself you will see a repeating cycle of behavior within your family, where parent abused child, over the generations making them feel not good enough, like they could never measure up, that they were unloved and needed to control their surroundings.
You will also note that you are being given lessons in your relationships over the years to help you to overcome and break these family templates. Each relationship whether romantic or otherwise is to help you to overcome and break these cycles that run in families. If you do not recognize or learn the lesson and change the way you react, you will simply repeat the lesson in the next relationships. If you do not learn your lesson in one lifetime, it repeats into the next perpetuating the cycle.
Becoming aware, seeing, recognizing, and understanding these cycles and templates and having compassion and forgiveness for those who have hurt us allows us to step up and say “I refuse to perpetuate this cycle of fear, I do not accept this paradigm, I transmute it to love" and change our behavior.
Once you recognize when you are reacting to a situation as your parents did, it starts to become easier to see, easier to slow down and change your behavior, and it becomes much easier not to react. As you learn not to react, you will notice your relationships will change, for the better, which is what we all want, yes?
This is how we graduate from the prison of victimhood to freedom, detachment, forgiveness and most of all LOVE.
Love is the only way to heal these family templates and the emotional and mental pain that comes with them.
~Terri Wilson~, I do not accept this paradigm"
Twin Flame Beacon of Love and Light
I am going to shoot straight as that is what you need from a healer, and that is why I am here to help all move FORWARD. I feel this is a message many need to hear right now.
Signs do not tell you who your Twin Flame is, nor does a psychic reader, tea leaves or tarot cards.
You will recognize there is something VERY different about this person, and you will have the heart pull (NOT heart palpitations or flutters which are Heart Chakra Expansion and a natural part of the Ascension process), you will FEEL IT, so stop looking!
If you have to ask if someone is your TF then they are NOT. This is the one relationship you will not need anyone's opinion or approval on because you will KNOW and it will be 100% MUTUAL.
IF you are a TF and MOST are NOT (which does not mean you cannot learn from the TF Love and emulate it in a relationship within yourself), it will be different than any relationship you have ever had, Why? Because it is not a relationship; it is a PARTNERSHIP of EQUALS.
You will have misunderstandings, triggers and things to heal of course. You will need silence and separation to heal things alone at times. Take advantage of these gifts of time and space from Source, go within and HEAL what comes up for healing. Learn to be happy alone, self-introspective and dig into your past. Lose the need for labels and someone to "complete" you and focus on SELF GROWTH (ie; self-worth).
Look for the lessons in relationships without attachment and you will begin to see what the relationship truly is, move forward and become the whole, independent,non-codependent beacon of love and light you were meant to be.
Will it be painful? Yes. Difficult? Absolutely. But 100% worth it in the long run.
If you have questions on Twin Flames, Ascension, Energy Healing, Astrology, and how it is all connected: Come to Chicago and connect with other Twin Flames and Lightworkers for a fun and helpful workshop designed to help you move forward on your journey.
We have a few spaces left, so come out and plug in, the energy is guaranteed to be positive and uplifting. We look forward to meeting everyone!
If you cannot make it but want to be kept up to date on future events:
"A rising tide lifts all boats."
So many of you have come so far on this journey, and the growth is beautiful to see!
Be grateful for those who help us become the best version of ourselves.
Use your triggers to catapult you on your healing path. For those already doing so, keep up the good work!
For those who feel stuck:
Stay positive, think of it as taking a rest to prepare for the next step forward. Take the time to analyze what needs to change within you to move to the next level.
Please keep in mind:
Are your thoughts positive or negative? Are you complaining, seeking validation or do you want the truth so you can move forward? Are you ACTING or REACTING? If you are reacting, you are triggered.
Is what you see positive or negative? If it is negative, it most often comes from your FEARS. What fears are being triggered to be addressed?
Many people in hindsight eventually see what they were not able to before because they were not ready. So be open to learning and hearing what others have to say. You can safely assume if everyone else sees things one way and you do not, you may be missing something and need to change your perspective. Don't fight it, go with the flow, and move forward.
Healing your triggers will not only help with your Union, but with your LIFE.
What you project without is what you see within, so make sure it is love.
All in this life is a choice. Choose love and it will choose you.
Keep going within, heal your past and continue to move forward, you are doing GREAT!
All are teachers and all are students and "A rising tide lifts all boats."
June 4, 2017
This Spiritual Journey has been an amazing one back to myself, becoming whole and realizing who I was meant to be. This Blog will be about Reiki, Spirituality, Love, Twin Flames, becoming healthy balanced and whole and all that I have learned along the way. Channeled messages, spontaneous poems, scribbles and memes will be mixed in.