People always ask how to know if someone is your Twin Flame. Perhaps part of my story will help.
Before I ever heard of Twin Flames, I met a guy.
He seemed fun, and interesting and sweet. Before you know it he is calling me 24-7. At one point he was telling me he missed me and being so sugary sweet after I was gone for 4 days, and a thought popped into my head: “this guy is an abuser and will turn around 180 degrees the other way. RUN” I of course, did NOT, because the thought seemed crazy.
He was always great until he was drinking, then things would get ugly. He had a violent temper. He would say the most horrible things imaginable, leaving me in a hysterical mess. The next day he was sweet again and apologized. It was a cycle that continued for years. Lots of fights, name calling etc. I never had a relationship like this, it was a total roller coaster. I felt we had a strong connection, but something was always a little bit off, I never truly trusted him 100%, but I thought he was my soul mate, even though at times it was the worst relationship I had ever been in. He was the most disrespectful man I had ever known but I loved him. He was never mean to me in front of anyone except for this kids. To everyone we were Barbie and Ken. We looked like brother and sister and everyone said we seemed to have been together for ever.
The abusive treatment progressed over 12 years until I was completely beat down and stripped of my self worth. I went from being “the mayor” of my town, to feeling I could not do or say anything right.
All through this relationship it went from awesome to horrible, awesome to horrible and in the end the awesome was non-existent. He was a Narcissist and I am an Empath, the worst possible combination for a relationship. I knew why he was the way he was and wanted to help him and show him he was worthy of great love. The problem was he was so damaged he could not accept it. Everything was my fault, I was always wrong, everything I said was stupid, “where do you get this stuff?”
He was my Karmic Partner. Sent to teach me what I did not want, and so many other valuable lessons.
My friends had me make a list of 100 things I wanted in my next relationship. It was everything I had always wanted and never had. It really made me think about what I truly needed not just wanted. 100 characteristics is a LONG, THOROUGH list! I put it away and forgot about it.
As I was going through my divorce, I met a guy who was amazing. He was everything my ex was not, said he wanted to “make up for the last 12 years of my life.” He was fun, I told him I thought we were supposed to heal each other, and we did. He had been in a similar relationship, and we gave each other back our sexuality, and made each other feel better, but neither of us were ready and something was not 100% in this relationship either. He, like myself was still reeling from his past relationship, still focused on all the things wrong with her, and I was the same. We eventually stopped seeing each other. My feelings were so strong, at one point I asked God if this was not the guy for me to PLEASE help me to get over him. Within 2 weeks I was for the most part but still thought I loved him.
He was my Catalyst. He showed me how I deserved to be treated; with respect, and that I could have a fun loving relationship, with someone who actually liked sex… and that would appreciate me.
I went to see a psychic. She said someone from far away I had not heard from in a very long time was going to appear. I would go see them or they would come see me and I would be VERY glad that I did, and she smiled in a very mysterious way. Like she knew some big secret. I could not imagine who this could be. In two months I got my answer.
A guy I knew 25 years before found me on FB. We had been best friends when I was in college and lost contact. I had searched for him for YEARS. At one point he had asked me to be his best man, and at another point I had wished he was a girl so he could be my maid of honor(neither happened, but I wrote in a journal I hoped we could one day go to each other’s weddings.) I was so excited, and happy! And OMG he lived 3000 miles away! He said I was the one who got away, wanted to see me, but I was still going through my divorce, so he backed off. I found a letter from him after my divorce was final, and he asked me to read it to him. He wanted to call me. As soon as I heard his voice my heart reacted. It felt weird, like someone was pulling on it tugging it, trying to take it right out of my chest. And my head felt weird and tingly, so I mentioned it to him, he said he felt the same. It was odd! Add to that all these feelings from the past came flooding back from before, I always had a crush on him and he was saying the same. When I looked up the heart pull and fuzzy head I discovered an article about Twin Flame’s, it made sense, and he was saying all the things described as well. I sent it to him and he agreed, it made sense, but he did not want to label it.
He literally IS me. There is more, but that is not the point of this article.
Our relationship has always been fun, silly loving, and conspiratorial: Best Friends. Always 100% trust, always respectful (he never even tried to kiss me way back when he was too chicken and so was I). Now that we were reconnected he wanted to take it to the next level. what if I rejected him and hurt his feelings? What If he rejected me? What if we were crazy? How could I feel like this for a guy I had not seen in 25 years? It boggled my mind! I was excited, but terrified. (fears!)
It has been almost 3 years in the making. We are in Union, and I have never felt more cherished and loved in my life. He said he wants to protect my heart, he never wants to be like all the other men in my life, that he loved me over half of his life. Not once has either of us been mean or disrespectful to each other. We agree that this relationship is “bigger than the both of us” and that it transcends all others. We have a telepathy and connection we NEVER had with anyone else and want what is best for each other. We always blame ourselves first if there is any misunderstanding (there are VERY few) and NEVER want to hurt the other. We are connected in ALL ways: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, sexually. We have the partnership we both have always dreamed of, 100% EQUAL and RECIPROCAL.
While all TF stories are different, you will find the majority contain the same elements; a Karmic partner (KP), a Catalyst and a Twin Flame (TF). The first two and everyone before them literally sets you up for your TF.
In both of my prior relationships I thought they could have been THE ONE, but there was something missing. I did know it, but society said there was no perfect relationship. They were not ME. They did not like or think like I did, though the Catalyst was close.
Had I known of TF’s first, I probably would have done the same as many do: try to make the KP or Catalyst my TF; try to fit a square peg into a round whole. But I hope I would have been smart enough to apply the lessons of others to my own situation. I certainly hope this will help many of you. If he/she is not 100% what you want, they are NOT your Twin flame. You must trust that. Most of all trust your HEART, that is the key that opens the heart to love...
You will have ZERO doubt they are THE ONE.
You will however have doubt to heal : “Am I worthy?’
YES you ARE, beyond a shadow of a doubt!
December 21, 2016
This Spiritual Journey has been an amazing one back to myself, becoming whole and realizing who I was meant to be. This Blog will be about Reiki, Spirituality, Love, Twin Flames, becoming healthy balanced and whole and all that I have learned along the way. Channeled messages, spontaneous poems, scribbles and memes will be mixed in.