​The Big Lie

We often hear people say they want to find their “better half” or the one who “completes me” “the other half of me", etc….
The problem with this thought process is it assumes you are not enough without this other person, and that in order to be happy you must be with someone else.   So a conundrum is created in our minds, and the quest for true love begins with a fallacy.
The truth of the matter is you do not need anyone else to be happy, and you do not need someone to complete you.  You just THINK you do. 
The reality is you must become whole yourself.  (That is right, ON YOUR OWN!)
Many will say “OH but I AM whole myself, I don’t need anyone!!” 
Really? 
So why are you still with that person who does not fulfill you?  Are you with someone who is “almost what you want?” or not even close, because you are “trying to make it work?” 
Hmmmm, maybe you tell yourself, but why? 
This is why: you have SETTLED and do not feel worthy of love.
You have decided the person you see in your mind as perfect for you, the one you have dreamed of all your life, the ideal love you imagined does not exist.  All the people you dated before who were not close to what you wanted, failed relationships and marriages have convinced you this person does not exist.  Or your friends and family have told you’re your expectations are completely unrealistic.  And you bought into THE BIG LIE:  that you can never truly be happy, and “kind of” happy or mediocre relationship is OK, and better than being alone.
And now you are coasting. 
You are on auto-pilot. 
Your relationship is like two roommates living together.  No passion, no fun, no excitement or inspiration, lack of motivation, just kind of going through the motions, often leading very separate lives, with one or both not really in a hurry to get home.  You tell yourself this is OK because your friends are in the same boat, so It MUST be ok.  Or WORSE, they are in an abusive relationship, and at least you are not living THAT life, so it HAS to be ok.  Your parents and grandparents did it.  Everyone does it.  There is no such thing as the perfect relationship.
This is where you are wrong.  This is THE BIG LIE.
You were meant for MORE, and you do not have to settle. 
What many do not realize is there IS a perfect person for you out there.  “No one is perfect” you say.  Ah but that is not what I said, what I said was this person would be “PERFECT FOR YOU.”
This person is that blueprint of your mind’s eye.  The man or woman of your dreams: “The ONE.” 
You have seen it. 
You know a couple that is always playful and silly with each other. They finish each others’ sentences.  When they look at each other it makes you blush.  In fact they are ALWAYS looking at each other. They are always touching each other, affectionate, respectful, and seem so do everything together.  They often look alike, or are built the same or act alike.  In fact, they think so alike you think they were just MADE for each other. 
That is because they ARE.
You can have it too, you need to stop lying to yourself, and stop settling.
Stop the cycle of settling for less than you deserve.  
How do do this?
Go within and start healing the parts of your past that feel you do not deserve to be fulfilled and happy.  Heal your need to have someone to validate that you are lovable.
​Heal the BIG LIE.
-Terri Wilson-
May 3, 2017
​https://www.facebook.com/HeartsInBalance/